Getting Over The ‘Shame’ Around Success & Trampling On Bruised Egos.

You know Zander, you never really have dealt with this, and the shame of success, the ‘guilt’ that comes along with being exceptional.

Dear Zander,

If you have a sensing that another person will feel insulted by your success, do it anyways.

You can always cut them out of your life, and there are ways to do that. It’s not about living smaller… it’s about ‘efficiently pruning’ off the people that cannot comprehend your growth.

You have the power to say no.

You can have the courage to be disliked.

You can choose to be exceptional, and accept the secondary attention, glamour, and status that comes to it… without it getting to your head.

And I KNOW this is a tough concept to wrap your head around… when you were growing up, and you tried to be exceptional, and you tried to be ‘good’ and to be the most excellent version of yourself…

You were targeted by predators — in fact groomed, and eaten alive because of it.

And you learned to live in the shadows.

You learned that with success — you didn’t have the power to resist. You didn’t have the power to say no to the predators, that are out there to get you.

You were only 15… even 17.

You decided that a ‘small life’ was what you were going to settle for — because of how small, and painfully hurt they made you feel.

It is true.

You did do well. You did amazing, for many points in your life — and I’m grateful that you did the hard things that led to the good results in your life.

You trained hard. You got your medal.

You studied hard. You got good grades.

You worked hard. You made fucking cash money bags… with more to come.

You felt hurt — you stepped up, and stood your ground.

I’d advise you to trust your intuition more. And come out into the light.

And I’m not here to hide the truth from you.

I’m here to tell you — the reality of the situation.

You know it yourself, you had to ‘go away’ because you are more successful than others.

You knew that if you shared your success, with others… it would make THEM feel small…

You KNEW that you’d trample on their brittle egos — because of your gifts, and you decided to hide and play it small.

It was okay.

It was fine to do that.

Back then, you weren’t skilled enough — to know how to master the public perception, and it takes GUTS to be able to stand up for yourself. And to OWN your success.

It is yours.

Many times — your ideas are truly brilliant, you move very quickly… and you’re able to see things that others can’t see.

You’re able to dig in, and do the hard work too.

You’re able to trust yourself and to find what’s right for you.

This is an incredibly scary thing for others — and it scared you too.

Many times, the herd will always look for what other people are doing… in fact, they are looking for the authority figure to follow,

The shepherd to lead them… the guru to save them.

The secret is… just like in your personal life… that there IS no guru. NO coach is coming to save you. NO one can turn around your business, except for you.

No ‘trend’ will save you.

No ‘hack’ will save your business.

No secret magic bullet will ever do the ‘trick’.

Something EVEN greater will do that.

YOU will save yourself.

And you will rise to the degree that your ambition calls you towards. THIS is the true saviour.

The saviour is not out there.

The Morning Star is within — and it is powerfully calling you to rise and conquer.

The fuel that drives you… is the insight that you KNOW; which others SEE as pure heresy.

It is in the land of the unknown, the feared, and the unconventional, that you find your greatest success…

It is in this amorphous, and beautifully chaotic world, that you’re able to shape the rules of yourself.

It is in this land — that you can have the greatest source of intellectual honesty with yourself, and you get to admit what it is — why you think the way that you think… with an empirical and conscious eye.

The eye of awareness…

The eye of awareness — is a blinding one though, and it can be rather ‘undressing’ for some.

It makes some people feel raw, naked, and stripped bare of any ‘clothes’ that they could ever hold for themselves.

This leaves them feeling unguarded…

It makes them feel small — because the emperor is in his new clothes.

So be it.

There are greater things to do, and higher ambitions to pursue in life. Free yourself from the small minded-ness of petty, indolent fools… and rise to the potential that you know is within you…

And then forget it all…

Let the hate run it’s course…

And once it’s done, thank it for helping you reach escape velocity… and for it’s gift to grow to higher emotional states.

Whenever you’re struggling to ‘feel at ease’ with your success… always remember the moments that you:

• Chose to stop talking about your work, because it would make someone else feel terrible…
• The moments that you were shot down for being successful, and impatient… and when you actually were hungry, and impatient, you completely surpassed all expectation…
• And the vampires that were out there, trying to get your attention — with their flashy ways, even though they wanted your attention… NOT for you to succeed…

While these are painful experiences to learn, ones that made you question your entire sense of what’s real, and what’s right… whether you were even a competent direct response intellectual in the first place…

Know that it was through these catalytic moments, that you were able to find yourself, and to hit a financial number that your 17 year-old self, would be SHOCKED to hear.

The funny thing is — is that you’ll look like a mystery to the world, even though you’ve literally written everything down for people to see, if they looked hard enough to find out the truth.

I suppose that’s the magic and wonder of it all… and this little chapter of your life.

Anyways, I foresee that you’re going to make a shit ton of money, really quickly, really fast, and you’ll surpass your peers, and even the ‘old gods’ that seemed to be sacred cows, never to be slain.

The biggest ‘names’ in the industry.

The most ‘powerful’ people.

The people that you wanted some respect and approval from.

It’s funny.

The people who are doing 7–8 figures, think that you’re brilliant, in fact — they know that you’ve got amazing potential, and they have always offered you the gift of their time. Treasure, acknowledge, and be grateful for that. Not everyone has this opportunity to glean wisdom from such wise masters.

Remember all the help that you’ve gotten from these special mentors, and be grateful that they are in your corner, supporting you… and your, somewhat iconoclastic ways.

It’s the masses, and the terribly ‘mediocre’ that STARE at you with scorn. Enjoy the hate.

Let it fall off like a drop of water.

It will pass, and you will pass them.

After that — I think the mission that I’d like you to embark on, is one of helping people to expand their thinking, and to trust themselves more, in their own unique way.

Humanity suffers from a plight of needless self-doubt.

So much potential wasted.

A lack of power — in the masses…

The feeling that you have to ‘take’ the scraps that life gives you… rather than the intention to CRAFT and DESIGN the life that you want…

Many people live in this reactive, docile, ‘sheep-like’ state…

And it’s going to be an eternal problem…

It’s a problem as old as time, one to ‘get’ people to believe in themselves, and to choose the life that they want.

Fight for this.

You do what you can in this life, to empower people to have agency & vision.

You don’t need to be ‘known’ in this process… only know that you’ve made an impact to the people that buy your products, and that is enough.

That is all that I could ever ask of you.

You know the joy of seeing someone flourish… without them knowing that it was you that gave them this gift.

That is the greatest joy that I could experience in my life… to watch that come to life, as the universe ‘watches’ itself grow and flourish.

Remember the mission.

Enjoy trampling on bruised egos.

Yet, remember that there’s more to life than that.

With Love & Grace,

Zander